A CHRISTMAS APPEAL

While we are enjoying ourselves this Christmas, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves. That is why we are launching this Christmas appeal, so that Alt Right vloggers do not freeze* this winter.

Some Alt Righters may have to share hotel rooms

ALABAMA ELECTION: ROY MOORE LYNCHED BY MOB

In the biggest lynching in Alabama's history, Republican candidate and professional John Wayne impersonator Roy Moore's senate seat was stolen by Democrat blacks and cucks. 

VICAR: 'ALED JONES RAPED ME AS A BOY'

A gay Church of England vicar has bravely come out to reveal that Songs of Praise presenter Aled Jones sexually assaulted him while Jones was still a choirboy in the 1980s, exposing a long history of perversion that began when he was just twelve.

 

23&ME COMPLAIN OF ANTI-SEMITISM

Jewish-owned company that researches people's genetic ancestry 23andMe have complained about customers' anti-Semitism after 23andMe added fake African results to White European tests to "screw with racists".

MILO'S "JINGLE JANGLE OF SHEKELS" TOUR HITS AUSTRALIA

Anti-Semitic, homophobic racist Milo Yiannopoulos has hit Australia with his "Jingle Jangle of Shekels" tour just in time for Christmas. 

PRESIDENT PARP BLAMES IT ALL ON FLYNN

President McDonalds J Parp has sensationally blamed all his problems with Russia on ex-national security adviser General Michael Flynn, including Apollo Creed's death in the ring at the hands of steroid abuser Ivan Drago at Trump's Las Vegas hotel in 1985.

WHITE SUPREMACIST SYMBOL SEEN IN SWEDEN

Anti-Fascist groups were greatly concerned last night by the appearance of a giant sun cross in the sky over Vemdalen in Sweden, with some Jews calling it 'anuvva Shoah'.

MEET IRAN'S ANGELINA JOLIE

Some say that Iran is a repressive country, especially for women, but Sahar Tabar shows the world that the Iranians are just as enlightened and progressive as we in the West. The teenage aspiring cat-lady has had over 50 operations to look just like her idol Angelina Jolie.

SLAVERY BROUGHT BACK IN NORTH AFRICA

North Africa is celebrating the 170th anniversary of the Ottoman decree under British pressure that brought slavery to an end in the region by selling Negroes into slavery.

 

PRESIDENT PARP SUPPORTS BRITISH THIRST

President McDonalds J Parp has sensationally retweeted videos made by far-right Zionist multiculturalist Nazi donation collectors British Thirst, prompting speculation that Trump is indeed literally Hitler and wants to gas his own daughter.

REFUGEES EATEN BY RACIST SHARKS

Social justice groups have been left enraged after a boat full of refugee children barely out of their teens was eaten by racist sharks during a rescue operation off the coast of Libya.

BLAXPLAINED SJW GETS BACK ABOARD THE N-TRAIN

The SJW whose gender we cannot assume as female (for various reasons) has reboarded the N-train after a commuter whose race we cannot assume as Negro blaxplained to her that manspreading was normal, resulting in both parties having thick lips.

 

HARRY WINDSOR AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCESS

Serial racist, Prince Harry, aka Harry the Bastard, has again attacked Blacks by trying to breed them out, just as his mother had tried to breed out the Arabs.

 

MARILYN MANSON DEAD

Former ACDC bassist and white supremacist Marilyn Manson has died in his prison cell at the age of 83.

 

MISS ISRAEL AND MISS IRAQ IN SELFIE ROW

There has been an outcry in Las Vegas following a selfie taken by two competitors in the Miss Universe competition: Miss Israel and Miss Iraq.

GEORGE TAKEI: I WAS RAPED BY CAPTAIN KIRK

In the latest sex sensation to rock Jollywood, Mr Sulu, whose only role to date, has been to play the character George Takei in various reality TV shows, has accused Captain Kirk of sexually molesting him as he tried to steer the USS Enterprise around a white dwarf.

MARTIN LUTHAH KANG WAS A COMMUNIST

1960s Blactivist Martin Luthah Kang has been exposed as a Communist, according to the FBI dossiers on the JFK assassination opened by President McDonalds J Parp. The dossier also revealed Martin Luthah Kang's kang has been exposed to many hoes other than his biatch.

TOM CRUISE IN PAEDOPHILIA BESTIALITY SCANDAL

Tom Cruise is the latest celebrity to be exposed as being a right pervert, following allegations that he raped a puppy on the set of Cocktail.

A black labrador by the name of Sambo has come forward to reveal that Cruise sexually assaulted his great-grandfather, who can only be called Lucky for legal reasons, during the filming of the euphemistically titled film Cocktail.

Rumours about his sexuality have dogged Cruise all his career and his girlfriends have been hounded by the press as suspected beards. He certainly has not pawed them in the same way as in the revealing photo above.

Yet fellow Scientologist John Travolta claimed the press were "barking up the wrong tree", before dashing off to catch the last flying saucer to Aldebaran. However, Kevin Spacey, who was attending a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with friend Noah Schnapp last night said Cruise was "a right dirty bastard" and that he was "not surprised".

As the dog was still only a puppy at the time, it is not known yet whether Cruise will be charged with bestiality or paedophilia.

JOOGLE SACK PRIVILEGED WHITE MALE

James Damore, an engineer at the company Joogle, has been sacked for 'perpetuating gender stereotypes', arguing that biology makes one gender better than another at some jobs.

KOREA TO NUKE USA

It is thought that North Korea is building a nuclear arsenal to attack American banks and needs to be invaded to be on the safe side.

Oh I do love to be beside the seaside.

LITTLE SLANT-EYED RACIST NAZIS!

Two racist Chinky tourists were arrested yesterday for a-siegin' and a-heilin' outside the Reichstag in Berlin.

NATIONAL TRUST: ARSE-BANDITRY NO LONGER COMPULSORY

The National Trust have reversed a decision to make workers wear 'I am an arse bandit' badges.

HALF-CASTE HOMO NI PM: NO BORDERS

Semi-wog knob jockey Northern Ireland Prime Minister Leo Varadkar has declared the NI border will be like his anal cavity after Brexit: often penetrated.

Varadkar Top Right

SKYNET AND ZUCK DEFEATED....FOR NOW

The Zuck's army of Facebook robots have been defeated, we can reveal.

SCARAMOUCHE FIRED

President Donald J Parp has sensationally shouted 'You're fired!' to Apprentice candidate and token midget Anthony Scaramouche, after the poison dwarf bard's string of vulgar ditties about members of Parp's cabinet.

Anthony Scaramouche has been put back in his box

POLISH VICTIM AGGRESSIVELY EATING PIZZA

The Polish drunkard who was killed by a teen of undisclosed ethnicity was allegedly aggressively and racistly eating pizza, Chelmsford Crown Court heard yesterday.

Racist Polak fascist Mr Jozwik

TOMMY ROBINSON ATTACKS HELPLESS CELTIC FANS

Vile bundle of hate Tommy Robinson, real name Stephen John Zion-Lennon, attacked a bunch of Celtic fans at a book-signing in Sunderland yesterday.

KURDISH GUNMAN NOT A TERRORIST

The Kurdish Iraqi who shot and killed a nightclub doorman in Konstanz, Germany, has been revealed not to be a terrorist. The shooting has therefore been normalised by the authorities.

The stuffed remains of ISIS terrorist Bruno

PARP FIRES GENDER NEUTRAL PRIEBUS

US President Donald Parp has sensationally fired General Reince Priebus as part of his ban on transgender persons in the military.

Kelly Malony has nothing to do with this article

HAMBURG STABBER NOT JIHADIST

A white Palestinian from the United Arab Emirates, who was refused asylum in Germany because of racism, stabbed seven people, one fatally, in Hamburg yesterday. But police spokesgenderneutralperson Andy Grote has told everyone not to worry, as 'He was known as an Islamist and not a Jihadist.'

Hello gorgeous

CHESTER BENNINGTON NOT LIVING ANYMORE

It is with some sadness that we at the Dairy Male have learned of the tragic suicide of Nu-Metal singing sensation Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. His brave yet fated sword battle with depression has been well documented elsewhere, his chronic moping-about probably all starting with him being lumbered with a prescription for National Health Service 'jam-jar-bottom problem-glasses', or something.

JOHN MCCAIN HAS BRAIN CANCER

Former US President-wannabe and inventor of oven-ready chips (that's freedom fries to you Americans) John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

 

AUSTRALIAN PM: WOG COP GUNMAN'S ACTIONS 'INEXPLICABLE'

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has called the actions of Somali pirate US cop Mohamed Noor 'inexplicable'.

 

STUDENTS VOTE TWICE

It has been discovered that many students voted twice during this year's General Election, leading to concerns that voting may be rigged.

GEORGE A ROMERO TURNED INTO ZOMBIE

It is with great sadness that we announce the zombification of film director George A Romero. 

 

TONY BLAIR: "I DEFECATE ON YOUR DEMOCRATIC RIGHTS"

Tony Bliar has yet again shat in the faces of the British electorate with a flat-earth-shattering pile of poo that left even the last remaining white voters brown. 

MAYWEATHER HITS MACGREGOR WITH HONKY RACIST CRACKER

The blows came in thick and fast in this epic encounter between the immortal Conor MacLeod McGregor and Lloyd Mayflower Jr. Early in the contest, McGregor hit Maypole with a heavy book, which stunned Fairweather with its complicated vocabulary and was deemed a low blow by referee and father Lloyd Carlweathers Sr.

 

Melville's Moby Dick left Mayflower all at sea

LAUREN SOUTHERN EXPOSED!

The revamped totally new yet the same as before Dairy Male is back with an Alt Right exclusive that will make your blood boil, stomach turn, heart sink and winkie shrivel. We can finally reveal why darling of the Alt Light and Alt Right Lauren Southern avoids the JQ and doesn't get her tits out for the lads.

Lauren engaging in masculine pursuits

WHITE SUPREMACIST PLOTS JOOBOMB

GTKRWN: Juan Thompson

White supreemist Juan Thompson has been charged with attempting to kill six million Jews with homemade bombs. The 31-year-old genius and journalist constructed the explosives following the instructions of a Youtube video featuring former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis' instructions. The bombs were ingenious in their simplicity, having been made from toilet roll inners, blue tack, tampons and baking soda.

THE UNDEAD FINALLY DIES

Kaufman on holiday in Whitby

Labour MP, Fabian Society member and Voivode of Wallachia, Gerald Kaufman has finally died at the tender age of 612. It has not yet been ascertained whether Kaufman died from decapitation, a stake through the heart or exposure to sunlight. Members of the LGBTJQ+ society have expressed other concerns, however.

KELLY OSBORNE: NO MEXICANS TO CLEAN MY SHITTER

Kelly "Twilight Sparkle" Osborne

 

 

Celebrity crack whore Kelly Osborne is facing a firestorm over comments made back in 2015, when she complained that sending back illegal immigrants would leave her with "no Spics to clean my shitter, thanks to Donald Trump." She apparently feared Trump's new wall would cause a backlog in her bathroom.

 

ENOCH FOUND AND THIS YEAR'S WHO DA JOO THROUGH AND THROUGH?

Model moid, but woik is trying up

 

 

Mike Peinovich alias Mike Enoch has been found along with his wife Ames. They were discovered coming out of the Poark East Synagogue together, where they both insisted to our reporter that they had been getting a divorce. Ames Friedman-Peinovich-Shekelberg wore a figure-hugging Mürdoch Chan SS uniform for the occasion, while Mike sported a white Hermann Goering number that complemented his ample frame.

VILE MILLENNIAL WOES PLANS FOR GENOCIDE

Robinson at a refugee shoot yesterday

In another astonishing media fabrication, we can exclusively reveal vile Millennial Woes aka Colin Robinson's plans to exterminate the refugee race. This comes after attending a refugee shoot yesterday in which the vile racist managed 88 kills. This brings his handicap down to 14 under par.

"I could have done more," he boasted vilely, "but I stopped at 88 in memory of the Führer's glorious meeting with the Czech Foreign Minister that began the annexation of Bohemia and Moravia."

 

But we have news for him. One of the refugees he winged died later of complications in hospital, so take that you vile racist!

Vile

 

Vile Millennial Woes changed his real vile name to Colin Robinson when he became a professional racist, naming himself after the golliwog on the jam jars just to be more offensive. He has also reportedly founded the fascist Purple Shirts paramilitary group with which he intends to take over the world.

Asked about his vile plans for the refugee races when he takes over their countries, he said simply, "Showers, gas and ovens."

ENOCH'S WIFE TURNED INTO SOAP

Artist's impression: Have you seen this woman?

 

Police are investigating after the disappearance of Mike Peinovich's wife yesterday. According to one of their neighbours, a buck-toothed, hooked nosed man with peyot and binoculars, she was last seen in Pernovich's luxury kibbutz in Boro Poark in New Yoark, after having taken a shower and was heading towards the oven.

CARRIE FISHER AND KENNY BAKER FOUND ALIVE

A nervous R2D2 yesterday

 

In a sensational scoop, we can reveal that actors Kenny Baker and Carrie Fisher are in fact alive and well and hiding out at a backstreet bar in Benidorm. Both looked fit and well for members of the entertainment industry.