Former US President-wannabe and inventor of oven-ready chips (that's freedom fries to you Americans) John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer.
McCain has repeatedly told the families of the victims of the Israeli attack on the USS Liberty to go bollocks, usually at the same time as licking Benjamin Netanyahu's bollocks. It is feared that McCain's treatment will prevent him from fellating the Israeli premier in the future. Henry Kissinger has called it 'a tragedy'.
In the 1960s, McCain served in Vietnam, where he was captured, tortured into a gibbering wreck and sent back humming 'The Red Flag' and 'The Internationale'. Former African American Communist dictator O'Barry Bonobo tweeted, 'I hope our beloved comrade will soon be back in the class struggle of the international worker', by which he meant queers and lezzers.