Sunday, 16 July 2017


Tony Bliar has yet again shat in the faces of the British electorate with a flat-earth-shattering pile of poo that left even the last remaining white voters brown. 

On Brexit he said, 'I fart in the face of Brexiteers! How can I not when Brexit will mean the desertification of the Cotswolds, famine in Scotland, plagues of locusts in East Anglia, the invasion of Russia, who will see us as a soft target, and Donald Trump raping our dead open mouths.'

'There has been a hysterical reaction to the Remain campaign caused by fear-mongering on the Right,' he added. 'That is why we need to section all who have voted Leave under the Mental Health Act.'

Such a spattering of fertilizer has not been seen from Bliar since his student days, when strangers used to bugger the shit out of him on Hampstead Heath, while dressed as his alter-ego Miranda. Asked about his past life as a cross-dressing sausage depository, Bliar said, 'There is still such prejudice and discrimination in Britain today. When I return to power, I will end this intolerance by criminalising all traditional male attire.'

Bliar also had some words about Jeremy Corbyn's performance as mock-prime minister, Bliar said, 'Jeremy has done well, particularly with the yoof, but he's not half the woman I am.'

Jeremy Corbyn responded earlier today with, 'Maybe not, but Diane Abbott is ten times the woman Bliar is.' Diane Abbott was too busy eating missionaries to be contacted.

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