Monday, 31 July 2017


The Kurdish Iraqi who shot and killed a nightclub doorman in Konstanz, Germany, has been revealed not to be a terrorist. The shooting has therefore been normalised by the authorities.

The stuffed remains of ISIS terrorist Bruno

In an astonishing change of narrative, however, the offender had no psychological issues, although he was a lone wolf. He had previously been a valuable member of German society, having convictions for assault, general violence and drugs.

The unnamed shooter got into an argument in the nightclub and then later returned with an M16 that just happened to be lying around....or something.

The gunman was shot dead by police, who called it 'the best action since the shooting of Bruno the Bear back in 2006.' A police spokesthingy said, 'It is important to remember that unlike Bruno, who stole chickens and honey from beehives, people from the Middle East pose no threat to the public whatsoever.' 

In a press release, German intelligence revealed their most dangerous terrorist suspects to be Yogi and Gentle Ben.

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