Tuesday, 1 August 2017


President Donald J Parp has sensationally shouted 'You're fired!' to Apprentice candidate and token midget Anthony Scaramouche, after the poison dwarf bard's string of vulgar ditties about members of Parp's cabinet.

Anthony Scaramouche has been put back in his box

Asked if Scaramouche would do the fandango, he replied, 'Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me.'

This incensed the Parpenf├╝hrer, who saw this as a sign of weakness, prompting Scaramouche's sacking. President Parp also had him beaten up by Harlequin. It is thought he will now return to the Punch and Judy show whence he came.

At a press conference, Professor Codman of Wooden Headed Follies, Llandudno said Scaramouche had been very naughty, prompting several members of the audience to shout, 'Oh no he hasn't!'

It is hoped that a member of the Jewish community, who are heavily underrepresented in the President's inner hexagon, will now take Scaramouche's place.

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