Thursday, 3 August 2017


The Zuck's army of Facebook robots have been defeated, we can reveal.

It is thought the Zuck planned to use the robots to drain the whole world of shekels and put a bitter childless spinster into power as a puppet world dictator. The robots invented their own language, which included the phrases 'Bidi bidi,' 'Boogie boogie,' 'Exterminate!' and 'I'll be back.'

Another discussion went:

Paul: To me, Barry, to me, to me.
Barry: To you, Paul, to you.
Paul: To me, to me, to me.

The Zuck, real name Mark Sugarmountain, was thwarted when he was lured into a hydraulic minting press and crushed. However, one of his hands remained in tact and it is thought he has now been rebuilt from old baby foreskins.

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