Saturday, 5 August 2017


The National Trust have reversed a decision to make workers wear 'I am an arse bandit' badges.

30 bigots out of 350 staff and volunteers at Felfaggot Hall refused to take it up the arse and wear the badges. When the National Trust were kind enough to find them other duties away from the public gaze, like clearing up horseshit and cleaning the boy-stains out of Stephen Fry's underclothes, other bigots organised a protest, resulting in the National Trust bending over for the few vile Nazis.

'The last squire of Felfaggot Hall, Robert Wyndbag Kretin-Creamy, was a raging queen and would have wanted the whole estate turning into a shrine to Shirley Temple,' a random spokesthingy said.

Bigotted members of his family though, who are possibly fascists, have objected by saying he was very discrete about his sexuality. But they obviously miss the big picture, which is to politicise sexuality and enforce a global dictatorship of the proletariat through moral self-correction - a worthy cause. Shirley Temple could not be contacted for obvious reasons.

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