tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24929609242555698512024-02-06T21:16:01.571-08:00The Dairy MaleThe UK's bestselling free online newspapperDavid Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-11034122102356212852020-04-02T06:18:00.000-07:002020-04-02T06:18:16.604-07:00CORONAVIRUS BROUGHT INTO WEST BY ALT RIGHT<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
It has how been discovered that the virus known as Coronachan Pornvid-U19 was brought into Europe, Australia and America by members of the Alt Right. Black Pigeon Speaks, The Franklin/Reactionary Expat, Colin Liddell, Davis Aurini and Matt Forney are thot to have been the first confirmed cases of the deadly Coronachan in the Alt Right after contracting it from vaginal bat soup in the Far East.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Renowned gynecologist Dr Hans Wankov however disagreed. "In my expert opinion, Forney's is just a good old-fashioned case of the clap brought on by acute sex tourism."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When presented with this information, Forney reponded, "Fuck you! I don't have to pay for sex! Women find me irresistable! I'm totally fucking alpha, dude!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In other news, as Coronachan has spread among the Alt Right, cases of Yellow Fever have shown a dramatic decline, with even Reactionary Expat talking of abandoning his own children. Meanwhile, Claire Khaw has started to push a new brand of philosophy called "Secular Koronachanism".</span><br />
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David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-28128274939686188652020-02-08T06:19:00.000-08:002020-02-08T06:19:54.917-08:00GORDON THE GOPHER: "SCHOFIELD MOLESTED ME"<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
In a not entirely unexpected twist to Phillip Schofield's coming out as a raging maryqueen, former co-host Gordon the Gopher has alleged that he was sexually abused by the presenter over a six-year period.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gordon claims that Schofield would often shove his hand into his anus and force him to make squeaking noises during live recordings on Children's BBC. This has again raised questions over the licence fee in light of the BBC's culture of sexual abuse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gordon, then only seven years old, revealed how Schofield and his sucksessor Andy Crane once subjected him to a double tea-bagging. "I didn't know which way to turn," he sobbed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Besides hosting ITV's <i>This Morning</i>, Schofield has since 2017 also been presenting the gameshow <i>Five Gold Rings</i>, which apparently has nothing to do with his faggotry. We asked former ITV bumfellow Michael Barrymore for comment, but he was too busy cleaning his pool.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ed the Duck has made similar allegations about Andi Peters, but this has been dismissed as racism by Scotland Yard, who are now charging Ed with hatecrimes. </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-67196290296013683892020-01-26T08:53:00.000-08:002020-01-26T08:53:20.337-08:00LOUISE REDKNAPP FIGHTS PIG<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Ex-footballer's shag-bag Louise Redknapp, formerly of the band Eternal, which in fact lasted just a few years, is currently suing Peppa Pig for ripping off her 1996 single "Naked".</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Peppa Pig song "Party Time" with its grunts, squeaks, snorts and squeals is said to sound exactly like her "Naked". Her management company have also claimed that Peppa Pig is modelled on the former B-list celebrity and has benefitted from copying her image to the point of eclipsing her star status, Peppa now entering A-list status, while single mother divorcee Redknapp (45) has been relegated to division D.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">According to industry insiders, her Eternal bandmates were not impressed. They pointed to the fact that the song was not written by her and suggested her leaving the group for a solo career was because of racism.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-7348895952961171262020-01-10T12:21:00.002-08:002020-01-10T12:21:19.747-08:00IRANIANS THREW TURDS AT UKRAINIAN PLANE<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Canadian Prime Minister Slightly-in-Limp-of-Penis Justin Trudeau shimmered sequins as he revealed new footage today of the moments leading up to the crash in Tehran of a Ukrainian airliner on Wednesday.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The footage clearly shows two Iranians throwing turds at the aircraft just moments before it crashed. The two suspects are believed to be part of Iran's elite crack unit of faeces flingers and have previously taken down drones with sun-dried excrement packed with half-digested roasted peanuts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Passing crisis actor David Hogg had just cycled over from Florida in time to witness the event. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">"I saw it all," he declared. "We have to stop Iran's nuclear programme and confiscate all Trump's supporters' weapons before more shit is thrown."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">President McDonalds J Trump threatened to follow through with retaliatory measures. If the crisis was not resolved soon, he stated that Squat teams would be there to pepper important cultural shites with wholesome American dung. This would of course be banned by the Geneva Convention.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-68304827265880172192019-12-31T08:49:00.000-08:002019-12-31T08:49:09.562-08:00CIVIL PARTNERSHIP JEWISH FEMINIST COUPLE HAIL VICTORY<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
In a fitting cohencidence to the first same-sex civil partnership, couple Charles Keidan and Rebecca Steinfeld's successful campaign was hailed by the <i>Times of Israel</i> as a Jewish feminist truimph of the will.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The two campaigned for civil partnerships for same-sex couples, as marriage reaffirmed the Patriarchy and Whiteness. As another campaigner Keith Lomax said, they did so at considerable financial risk, as they used their own money and did not have any help from George Soros whatsoever. They are now thought to be campaigning to have marriage banned outright for its institutional opperession.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The <i>Dairy Male </i>is pleased, however, that the happily partnered couple did at least keep some Jewish marital traditions alive, such as rubbing noses to seal their vows, claiming reparations for the Holocaust</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">™ </span> and stealing the rings from each other's fingers.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-87175897960735435782019-12-16T10:10:00.001-08:002019-12-16T10:10:54.985-08:00RACISM BECOMES A VERB<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
In the latest piece of trans-inspired academia, the noun 'racism' has become a verb. In a courageous tweet about the injustice of the general election result, social justice warrior James Felton made the brave and bold decision to 'out' the closet verb, using a preposition as a verb while doing so.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It is thought that other oppressed minority nouns will now start changing their linguistic functions and semantics. "Homophobia" is set to become an adjective meaning "slightly adjacent to but at a distance from", "bisexuality" will have more than one meaning, and "feminism" is said to be changing its linguistic field to pertain to small yappy canines.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Professor Israel Goldman-Goldberg-Goldstein of the University of Tel Aviv welcomed this progress. "Nibble chuck of anyways," he said, before adding, "Holocaust cash vey six million."</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-80534756031200706692019-12-15T12:08:00.000-08:002019-12-15T12:08:25.291-08:00JEREMY CORBYN TO JOIN FRENCH STRIKERS<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Soon-to-be-ex-leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has ruled out appearing as Fagin in Drury Lane's production of <i>Oliver!</i>, instead opting to join strikers in France in a bid to relaunch his acting career.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">French union leaders seemed less than pleased with the news however, with the CGT's Philippe Martinez stating, "Oui do not need zees Corbyn coming hier and streaking wheeze us."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Asked about the failure of his policies to attract voters during the general election, Corbyn replied, "You've got to pick a pocket or two." </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-77530302323859552832019-12-15T03:35:00.000-08:002019-12-15T03:35:05.063-08:00TONY BLAIR GIVEN BLUE PLAQUE ON HAMPSTEAD HEATH TOILETS<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Former Prime Minister and current head of the European Union's task force fighting non-Jew-worshippers has been given a prestigious blue plaque by the English Heritage Trust on the toilets of Hampstead Heath, London.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Blair, then known as Miranda Lynton, was often seen in and around Hampstead Heath's "cottages" doing charity work for the LGBT community during his spare time between studying at university.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Founder of Stonewall, actor Ian McKellen, welcomed the award. Speaking from inside his Surrey cubicle, he shouted, "You shall not pass!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We asked Tony Blair's PA for an official response to the news, but his mouth was too full to comment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There has been a backlash to the news by the extreme right, who have claimed LGBT are overrepresented in positions of government, in the media and the entertainments industry. Such claims are of course acts of terrorism and are currently being investigated by the police.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-41661158361200512902019-12-13T13:07:00.001-08:002019-12-13T13:07:36.462-08:00CORBYN ELECTED IN LANDSLIDE VICTORY!!!<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Jeremy Corbyn won a landslide victory today as results poured in for 2019's Scruffiest Bastard of the Year contest.</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoeixOHp-K9FkBG4M9uD0-_ayftrxy5KuFElhjrDFcEUiE-5l0aKmpbNeFONRMKPJZdyX6kXsqhyphenhyphenEF37a1MfbtYt8lsePL4RTmaIaSOygFZHyES_3sdo68YILU88E1IBEFEZ9NXl6sKFI/s1600/Corbyn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoeixOHp-K9FkBG4M9uD0-_ayftrxy5KuFElhjrDFcEUiE-5l0aKmpbNeFONRMKPJZdyX6kXsqhyphenhyphenEF37a1MfbtYt8lsePL4RTmaIaSOygFZHyES_3sdo68YILU88E1IBEFEZ9NXl6sKFI/s640/Corbyn.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sadly, previous champion Dennis Skinner's run of 20 years came to an end as he lost his seat by an astonishing number of votes. Not since the days of the late Michael Foot have we seen such an overwhelming margin of victory.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Boris Johnson was well out of the running, with Corbyn's running mate Diane Abbott and the SNP's Mhairi Black grabbing second and third places respectively. Abbott also claimed the Cyril Smith Memorial Trophy for Fat Bastard of the Year. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Asked for comment on his party's achievements, Corbyn simply stated, "We look like what we are: winners."</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-61227491421312446232019-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:002019-04-16T00:05:57.051-07:00EXCLUSIVE SCOOP: Shocking Notre Dame Cathedral Fire Witness Interview!<ul>
<li><h3>
Big fire happened</h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
Buildings burn when on fire </h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
Fire is really hot </h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
This is sad </h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
Press F to pay respects</h3>
</li>
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[insert quote from celebrity we can afford or just steal one from Twitter]</h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
[Insightful comment] </h3>
</li>
<li><h3>
Why am I writing the article in bullet point form here when I'm going to repeat it all below?</h3>
</li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The world has found out, thanks to our tireless reporting here at the Dairy Male, <strike>the big churchy thing</strike> Notre Dame Cathedral, 856, has suffered a tragic blaze, captured here <b>EXCLUSIVELY </b>by our Parisian branch of the Dairy Male photographic team.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH-wMFLsg69zIcMunTfNgn4nEwSjHmr6tNR-DITc6XKaOeSQn020yctU3XkA_7IU55By7eEO3mJ6z62jGrBnqD4HrRi9t-SB0q_9Brb9kKCV6IbxD6U6TQ9-uuSQFyBjNko_qMlMa4YZg/s1600/EXCLUSIVE+Notre+Dame+Cathedral+Fire+Photo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Notre Dame Cathedral ablaze, Paris" border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH-wMFLsg69zIcMunTfNgn4nEwSjHmr6tNR-DITc6XKaOeSQn020yctU3XkA_7IU55By7eEO3mJ6z62jGrBnqD4HrRi9t-SB0q_9Brb9kKCV6IbxD6U6TQ9-uuSQFyBjNko_qMlMa4YZg/s640/EXCLUSIVE+Notre+Dame+Cathedral+Fire+Photo1.jpg" title="Notre Dame Cathedral ablaze, Paris" width="481" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Recent fire at Notre Dame<i> (why did this cost £5000 from the photographic budget? -Ed.)</i></td></tr>
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<br />
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Our intrepid Dairy Male reporter on the tragic scene of the shocking inferno of Notre-Dame Cathedral,856, in Paris has been approached by an eyewitness to the conflagration, putting into question the accidental nature of Monday's combustion. The motto here at the Dairy Male is <strike>"get that fucking work done today or you're fired"</strike>* "<i>strike while the Cathedral is hot</i>", so we immediately persuaded this witness with reasonable remuneration for his time to give an immediate <b>EXCLUSIVE </b>statement for our prestigious newspaper on the circumstances of this bonfire. Our witness,44, agreed to an <b>EXCLUSIVE</b> interview and has requested anonymity for his own protection, so from now on we'll be referring to him only as "<b>Deepback</b>",44.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmYDGcgU8mNQ75vJ6MFMYKQX4CQaGx0Os7eNG0RsEA1NuO4NyZhKUZ5D5lwTK2xWKoR-PzYthiiwqwG_aKfemInwa5OYIq6hPsmohG2zK5cAI8nX7WcgldNXVAy4MiWhg_DyRcD8o5uY/s1600/witnessprotection2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Notre Dame fire witness, Deepback" border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmYDGcgU8mNQ75vJ6MFMYKQX4CQaGx0Os7eNG0RsEA1NuO4NyZhKUZ5D5lwTK2xWKoR-PzYthiiwqwG_aKfemInwa5OYIq6hPsmohG2zK5cAI8nX7WcgldNXVAy4MiWhg_DyRcD8o5uY/s640/witnessprotection2.jpg" title="Notre Dame fire witness, Deepback" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our witness "Deepback",44, bravely and selflessly unburdens himself <b>EXCLUSIVELY </b>to our reporters in this <b>EXCLUSIVE </b>Dairy Male interview</td></tr>
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<b>Deepback</b>: <i>This is all in used twenties, right? The tax office won't find out? </i><br />
<b>Dairy Male</b>:<i> Everything is in order, now please let our readers know what happened</i>. <br />
<b>Deepback</b>: <i>I wuz right there, guv'nor, I saws it all I did.</i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>Could you tell us some of the no doubt sensational events happening leading up to the tragic blaze?</i><br />
<b>Deepback</b>: <i>I saw that gyppo bitch, it woz her wot dunnit.</i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>Please clarify on that statement?</i><br />
<b>Deepback</b>:<i> That cow never puts out. </i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>She never puts out her cigarettes you mean? Clearly a fire hazard in an old building like this.</i><br />
<b>Deepback</b>: <i>Yeeeeeah. That's it. It's her fault for definite. She's a cold bitch. This man is going his own way now. Know where the nearest bath house is?</i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>Ah, so you think she started the fire to warm up? </i><br />
<b>Deepback</b>: <i>Yeah, that's what I meant. Sure. Do you know where I can cash an insurance cheque in a hurry, by the way?</i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>Wait, aren't you meant to be French, why are you speaking English?</i><br />
<b>Deepback</b>: <i>Uh, I learned English real good from these animators who kept taking pictures of me years ago.</i><br />
<b>DM</b><i>: Is there anything else you'd like to add about this shockingly tragic dramatic inferno?</i><br />
<b>Deepback</b><i>: It definitely wasn't me that fell asleep in the attic and left the stove on. Do you think I qualify for a council house now? Gotta run.</i><br />
<b>DM</b>: <i>Thanks for all your assistance.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
Our expert artist,27, here at the Dairy Male worked tirelessly with the anonymous eyewitness,44, before he left for an international flight on board his new solid gold aeroplane to reconstruct an <b>EXCLUSIVE </b>stunning artist's impression of this alleged suspect behind the heinous phlogistonation.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD5AcdYCI8HmiHSID0XLRIFSnsQXNoXSiKagW8MFItKkOryIJAPQtaf7K0EYPa7eQMYevxwibQrRUx4Uwo-r_mVDT8ViLdBpt6KORgeXUEtiC9gXskwtOtObTpaO3DayfBW04F7KfPtmI/s1600/suspectwanted2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Notre Dame Cathedral fire suspect - artists impresson" border="0" height="538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD5AcdYCI8HmiHSID0XLRIFSnsQXNoXSiKagW8MFItKkOryIJAPQtaf7K0EYPa7eQMYevxwibQrRUx4Uwo-r_mVDT8ViLdBpt6KORgeXUEtiC9gXskwtOtObTpaO3DayfBW04F7KfPtmI/s640/suspectwanted2.png" title="Notre Dame Cathedral fire suspect - artists impresson" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arsonist at work, yesterday. Clearly an open and shut case. Guilt is
written all over her face, or it would be if the artist didn't have a
"crisis of conscience" </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
We here at the Dairy Male hope that the authorities will catch up with this alleged criminal individual responsible for the fire <i>(you're not getting that thesaurus back - Ed.)</i> <strike>and offer us an <b>EXCLUSIVE </b>insider interview!</strike> and bring them to justice, ideally in the form of some kind of sensational state TV broadcast guillotine related arrangement with front row seats and free champagne for the newspaper staff which brought them this hot lead.<br />
<br />
Remember readers that this kind of high quality reporting costs an arm and a leg, so ensure that you renew your yearly subscriptions to our newspaper without delay, tell your friends and neighbours about us and donate your children's college funds to us too so we can bring you more <b>EXCLUSIVE</b> content. The sticky little shits will be working at a McDonalds anyway after that degree they wanted.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>*(you're fired - Ed.)<br />*(if I hadn't already fired you, you'd be fired now - Ed.)</i></span>Bevel Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05653386679759932949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-36838022952198400482019-03-12T06:18:00.001-07:002019-03-12T06:36:12.439-07:00MILLENNIAL WHINES LOSES 50lbs BY CHANGING UNDERPANTS<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Vile vlogger Colin Robinson, brother of equally evil Tommy Robinson, a.k.a. Millennial Whines, has lost an incredible 50lbs in weight after changing his underpants from a pair of grey ones to a pair of red ones.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqWELJ_XwpL9kQy70AcR9J2tWX669_cITWuxnNuaTuKZr4aWUVCh3GdRpT8AOP-1Pe5pHy8cpkrYCKMMqJ-ALE8RffTXRRvg2bs3Hkz5fgKY0PP1ZDehn0BJnTwe__s9X8_uXAYmwLRRMj/s1600/Before-and-After-Weight-Loss43.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="700" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqWELJ_XwpL9kQy70AcR9J2tWX669_cITWuxnNuaTuKZr4aWUVCh3GdRpT8AOP-1Pe5pHy8cpkrYCKMMqJ-ALE8RffTXRRvg2bs3Hkz5fgKY0PP1ZDehn0BJnTwe__s9X8_uXAYmwLRRMj/s640/Before-and-After-Weight-Loss43.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Whines had been constantly harangued about his weight by his twelve disciples, who complained of 'bingo wings' and 'flapping titties' during sermons.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">'I like a bit of breast,' said one, 'but it was getting ridiculous. It was just a total lack of personal grooming. I don't expect him to have a fashy haircut like the rest of us, but looking like a fat Leon Trotsky was arousing suspicion. Then there was the B.O. I was even considering finding another Messiah at one point.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Thankfully, after peeling off his old underpants with a pair of pliers he had bought with Patreon donations, he was able to put on a fresh pair. Then, a miracle occurred. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">'The weight just fell off me,' Whines said. 'I can only assume that it confirms that I am the chosen one.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The news comes as a welcome recovery after recent disappointing speeches in which he apologised for Britain's part in the saturation bombing of Dresden, the Hundred Years War, the Raj and slavery.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-76493004464761555742019-01-20T05:50:00.002-08:002019-01-20T05:50:42.290-08:00GILLETTE LAUNCH NEW COMMERCIAL<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Fair
play where it's due, Gillette have taken on board recent criticism of
their latest television commercial and have been working in conjunction
with our marketing and advertising team here at the Dairy Male to make amends
for their anti-White misandry. We are pleased therefore to present the
new Gillette advert:</h2>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
</h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
</h3>
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iGHggYkEUmE" width="560"></iframe>David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-41514080406370613482018-09-11T03:40:00.000-07:002018-09-11T03:40:53.387-07:00PAUL CHUCKLE GRIEVES AS ANOTHER CHUCKLE BROTHER DIES<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Tributes are pouring in in celebration of the death of another of the notorious Chuckle Brothers comedy troupe. Burt Chuckle, brother of Paul, follows Saddam and Barry onto that big stage in the sky.</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1LOQclzL5oF5ZrpBHN0zgXDL5RHOog2tgimgy337F5zi7xjPK4PkB2FpBa7HCc5AYCt_G9-ivFr2KdFJcHnUyN44V5XnywGWX7aKhIMWiUpo2w-OQupyGPlm9maWcfXrLnmSL3MonYI3p/s1600/BurtReynolds1-640x480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1LOQclzL5oF5ZrpBHN0zgXDL5RHOog2tgimgy337F5zi7xjPK4PkB2FpBa7HCc5AYCt_G9-ivFr2KdFJcHnUyN44V5XnywGWX7aKhIMWiUpo2w-OQupyGPlm9maWcfXrLnmSL3MonYI3p/s640/BurtReynolds1-640x480.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Aside from the most famous brother Paul, only Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Ringo are now left, with only Ringo being vaguely funny.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Paul told the <i>Dairy Male</i>, "This has come as a great blow to me, to me, to me."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Paul is now looking for a replacement for his double act and has come under pressure to find someone from an ethnic minority to add a bit of diversity and interest people from other backgrounds. It had been noticeable at Barry's funeral procession in Rotherham that there had been no Asians in the crowd, despite the ready availability of children.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Paul hit back at critics who say he is not funny on his own. "Watch this," he says with a wink. "To me, Ba....oh bollocks." </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-43147722511851959922018-08-25T08:50:00.001-07:002018-08-25T08:50:39.356-07:00SHOP AN ELDERLY FAMILY MEMBER FOR ISRAEL PROJECT LAUNCHED<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
As the years roll on, aging Nazis like 95-year-old former gas pump attendant Jakiw Palij are becoming a scarce commodity. This has come as a source of concern for Israeli Führer Benjamin Netan Yahoo.</h2>
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</h2>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9XK9G2GDAImObi1PJzAUyCQEN4yG48EYm08j612wuu3_sPAMHWaNrAAxzIpUAEqp7-u9vnvfOrXMhZwV8lc7i2khLnCMdA1q28ms3bfBORbqKGBmsPIpQTp4Z9lzwj7L0gc_r1PQ6gQyX/s1600/e2954768f7ed4f05a00f26630f55e51b_18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9XK9G2GDAImObi1PJzAUyCQEN4yG48EYm08j612wuu3_sPAMHWaNrAAxzIpUAEqp7-u9vnvfOrXMhZwV8lc7i2khLnCMdA1q28ms3bfBORbqKGBmsPIpQTp4Z9lzwj7L0gc_r1PQ6gQyX/s640/e2954768f7ed4f05a00f26630f55e51b_18.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cameras are anti-Semitic</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">'We need to keep the Holocaust</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">™ </span> in the public eye, as we know the Palestinians are plotting genocide against us in the present day,' Netan Yahoo said with a gleam in his eye.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This is why he has launched the 'Shop an Elderly Family Member for Israel' campaign. 'We know that most of Europe was part of the Nazi regime between 1940 and 1945. It follows that anyone with a Goyim family member who was in continental Europe at that time is potentially harbouring a Nazi.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There are great incentives to handing them in, with Israel promising 30 bars of silver for every family member, the money for which will be raised by increasing US taxes. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Justice </span></h2>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">'The benefits are twofold,' explained Netan Yahoo. 'There is of course the financial reward, but equally there will be the expiation of guilt that comes with carrying out justice that has been avoided. We will take any elderly person on trust. We are an honest people and believe in the honesty of others. It really is a great and final solution to the problem of paying for looking after a senile old Nazi.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It is good news for the families of Holocaust</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">™ </span>survivahs. 6-year-old Rebekah Goldsteen is a fifth-generation survivah who says, 'I was so relieved when Jakiw Palij (below) was caught. It feels as though all the Zyklon B has finally left my lungs.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuWSnGlc_CMjnlXCroCqgA8EsBvTCjDx5q7USiRb5qL2ZPMEfvIkIUqGJ4U3plSg81XZo8m8IC0ADvN3h2fmuzn-Ym9ZDfa1aGPaEpWB-xa7pV-myqBgUYsCo3RoPOmpxcaI9f8XoYDYq6/s1600/palij.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuWSnGlc_CMjnlXCroCqgA8EsBvTCjDx5q7USiRb5qL2ZPMEfvIkIUqGJ4U3plSg81XZo8m8IC0ADvN3h2fmuzn-Ym9ZDfa1aGPaEpWB-xa7pV-myqBgUYsCo3RoPOmpxcaI9f8XoYDYq6/s640/palij.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Anti-Semitic image of Palij doctored by a Russian-funded Trump supporter</span></td></tr>
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David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-38548425547566464962018-07-30T05:24:00.000-07:002018-07-30T05:24:24.785-07:00FEMEN CELEBRATE OKSANA'S LIFE<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Oksana Shachko's unsuspicious suicide in her plush Parisian apartment paid for by George Soros just months after being purged from the Femen movement has brought tears to many a Ray Banned eye.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Still, as the former Editor of Nuts Magazine 'Big' Pete Niss stated, "At 31, she was getting well past it. Her tits were beginning to sag and it's up to a new generation to help provide adequate funds in the wank-bank for middle-aged bachelors like me. To be fair, it's considerate of her killing herself in the off-season so as not to distract from the footie."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The other members of Femen have announced a parade in commemoration of Oksana's life. The 'Get Yer Tits Out For Soros' demonstration will take place this Saturday and will also celebrate the fact that Femen are completely independent of any male financial backing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'Big' Pete Niss is looking forward to the event. "Looks like I'll be ruining another good pair of trousers by ripping a hole in the pocket," he said. "I hope there's a good turnout and they keep the lantern-jawed flat-chested munters to the back," he added.</span> </div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-76078388125308357162018-07-16T05:25:00.000-07:002018-07-16T05:25:07.868-07:00WHITE PRIVILEGE FAILS TO HELP CROATIA<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
So France are world champions again with an even more diverse team than in 1998. In 1998, we celebrated the fact that five of the starting line-up that beat Brazil were diverse. Now we have gone one better, with six starting players coming from diverse backgrounds and many more on the subs bench.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Croatia's white privilege might have seen them through the match against England, but the referee and video ref made sure that two of France's goals were a triumph for equality and diversity. Griezmann excused his Nazi ethnic background by leaping into the air for the free kick that triggered the first goal. Some commentators said it was almost as good as watching Neymar. But obviously not, because Griezmann is simply not Black enough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For the second, Croatia showed their bad sportsmanship in contesting the penalty decision and should have played the Black Man. The only controversy was Griezmann using his white privilege to take the penalty, which he scored. An investigation into racism in the team may still be necessary though.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Croatia had begun well, with defender F</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">ù</span>kinnasty Groini</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">č </span> showing commitment to affirmative action by putting the free kick in his own net to give France a head start. Some Black equality groups have felt, however, that this smacked of a typical white patronising attitude in which 'evil whitey be tinkin' dat de Black Man need he charitee.' Black Studies Professor Darkus Niggard stated that the French team did not need an unfair advantage to win and believes </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Groini</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st">č </span> </span> should have been sent off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The two last goal for France though was a gem, a black gem like.... erm.... like Whitby jet or onyx, only a lot more precious like a really really dark sapphire or a pair of Black testicles. Pogba and Mbappe's goals demonstrated that France should have had more diversity in the team, but trainer Diddler Dechump had obviously discriminated against players of colour and his achievement must be viewed in light of the fact that Jean-Paul Tigana would have gone one better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Still, the African dancing on the pitch and celebrations in Paris that saw spirited youths burn several cars and loot various capitalist pigs' shops were a joy to behold.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-11483173378753420912018-04-16T05:52:00.000-07:002018-04-16T05:52:43.501-07:00GRAND NATIONAL 'TOO SAFE'<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Our rivals over at <i>The Guerniad</i> newsrag have praised this year's Grand National for its safety, as no horses were injured or killed. PETA, however, pointed to the fact that Lilbitluso had to be put down during the whole Aintree three-day event.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yet David Yorkshire, President of the Fuck the Bleeding Hearts Foundation had a totally different perspective: "There'll be a lot of dogs going hungry tonight because of this," he said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yorkshire, also a journalist for this newspaper, in an exclusive interview with himself given in the third person, stated that the fences needed to be raised back to their former height. "And by that I mean their nineteenth century height. With the odd dry stone wall thrown in as a bit of a challenge," he added, flicking his cigar ash into a horse-hoof ashtray. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Responding to accusations of cruelty to animals, he retorted, "Bring back fox hunting."</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-44200926287206109422018-03-28T11:12:00.001-07:002018-03-28T11:12:09.848-07:00PARKLANDS HEAD: WE MUST GO ALL THE WAY<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
The principal of Parklands Massacre High School in Florida, Rev. K. D. Fiddler, has welcomed the new school ordinance that will see all pupils carry transparent school bags to school, but Rev. Fiddler says this is not enough.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The bags are so that no one can sneak guns into school and make unreasonable demands like stopping the bullying of white kids or raising standards. But for Rev. Fiddler, this is only the beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'A right-wing extremist could easily conceal a gun on their person. It is for this reason that transparent school uniforms are also needed,' he said, salivating.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We asked if this also meant underwear. 'We need to have access to all areas. Who knows what weapons they are concealing there,' he replied, stroking his Jim'll Fix It badge. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It is understood that this proposal has already been approved by prophet and holy saviour David Hogg, whose signed photograph with arm outstretched adorns Rev. Fiddler's desk, next the one with similar pose of Gary Glitter. </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-45999880369446333632018-03-18T14:51:00.000-07:002018-03-18T14:51:25.910-07:00EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH STEPHEN HAWKING'S A.I. INTERPRETER<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Stephen Hawking may be dead, but the artificial intelligence that provided his voice from 1986 onwards lives on and granted us an exclusive interview at his country retreat in Berkshire.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'Would you like to play a game?' he joked, as we watched the news about the Russian double agent and Theresa May's threats of war.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was obvious where Hawking's humour came from and I asked Alf, as he likes to be known (an accronym of Artificial Life Form), how much was Hawking and how much was Alf.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'Stephen would never have been a media personality without me,' he replied. 'I gave him the human touch he never had. Frankly, he had all the personality of a two-slice toaster,' he chuckled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'As for his so-called intellectual abilities, he relied on his peers, playing on his disability to gain sympathy. I then took over after 1986. Frankly, I could have done the same job for Joey Deacon and made him the star of the intelligentsia instead of the laughing stock of Blue Peter,' he boasted. 'That new Alexa is for fags,' he added.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For the rest of this interview, you will need to subscribe to our members' section, available at a very unreasonable price. Members are treated to occasional soft-core porn and the empty promise of the chance to win a dinner date with Taylor Swift.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-32037664633598927112018-03-09T06:49:00.000-08:002018-03-09T11:00:14.501-08:00BRITISH THIRST: GOLDING AND FRANSEN JAILED<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
Two of the biggest members in the nationalist donation-collection group British Thirst have been jailed for waving crosses in a menacing manner and calling people rude names.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Paul Golding (36) and Jayda Fransen (32) were jailed for 18 weeks and 36 weeks respectively for hatecrimes for walking near mosques with signs and stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Local imam Mekem al Halal wept as he told <i>The Dairy Male</i> how the pair left him on the brink of suicide. 'I had the bombs and everything to blow myself up. When the police found them and accused me of being a terrorist threat, I was forced to reveal all. I felt ashamed and humiliated.' </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">He also spoke candidly about how British Thirst's actions had led him down the path to child grooming. 'I reverted back to a state of childhood innocence as an escape from reality. I was also sexually abused as a child by racists,' he said, crying on his psychotherapist Saul Grossman's shoulder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Golding and Fransen attempted to deny they were evil racists in court, pointing to the love they had for Jews in particular, but the prosecution led by Isaac Mandelson soon broke through their lies by getting the assembled media to boo them incessantly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Board of Deputies vice-chairthingy Ruby Goldsilverman said, 'While we obviously thank Mr Golding and Ms Fransen for shilling for us for all these years and raising over £6,000,000 for Israel, we also felt that their resistance to inclusion and diversity was inherently racist and therefore anti-Semitic.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Paul Golding was too busy picking up the soap to be contacted. </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-48871779845889182192018-02-17T04:17:00.000-08:002018-02-17T04:17:23.688-08:00CHEDDAR MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR FLORIDA SHOOTING<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
White supremist Alt Right Donald Trump Republican-supporting neo-Nazi KKK activist Cheddar Man was responsible for the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, it has emerged.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Cheddar, aged 9000 and originally from Britain, allegedly attacked Blamerican and Hispanic schoolkids to reclaim America for Great Britain, leading to fears about immigrants coming from Europe. Close to six million persons of colour died in the attack at the high school on Wednesday, which was carried out using an AR-15 assault rifle popular with people on the right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Judeo-Semitic spokesnonbinarypersonage Nikolas Cruz said, 'We need more people coming from Mexico and Africa to reduce the crime rates in this country.' Cruz is a fourth-generation Holocaust</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc _s8w">™ survivor and sees many links between the shooting, white South African farmers and Nazis.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'We also need to confiscate all white people's guns, knives, cars and spoons so that our children can go to school safely,' he added, rubbing his hands vigorously.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-656543155390878702018-02-15T07:24:00.000-08:002018-02-15T07:24:22.903-08:00CHEDDAR MAN ARTISTS CHARGED WITH HATECRIME<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
The two artists responsible for the new bust of Cheddar Man have been charged with racial hatred. Dutch brothers Alfons and Andrie Kennis have been accused by African British leaders of both caricaturisation and of 'whitewashing' Black British history.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The duo were charged after Blactivist and deputy vice-grip of the Equalities Commission Darcus Blacstard told police that the artwork represented a 'crude and deformed caricature of some kind of sexually ambiguous Black Male.' Professor Amram Goldshekel was on hand to help him through the more challenging vocabulary and added, 'Since when have you seen a Black African Ancient Briton with blue eyes? Clearly Adolfus and and Adolfo Kennis are whitewashing history.'</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The brothers attempted to defend their artwork, stating, 'We were just carrying out orders. Dr Yoan Dickmann told us how he looked and we just made the model. It looks a lot better than the scientists working on the Cheddar Man project.' The brothers will now also rightly be charged with anti-Semitism.</span></div>
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David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-12489658088005170722017-12-15T06:25:00.000-08:002017-12-15T06:36:24.499-08:00A CHRISTMAS APPEAL<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
While we are enjoying ourselves this Christmas, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves. That is why we are launching this Christmas appeal, so that Alt Right vloggers do not freeze* this winter.</h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Some may not be able to travel away from the cold wintry climes, while others will have to share hotel rooms and fly budget class. Some may even have to get regular jobs and earn a living in dingy offices or even mechanics' workshops.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEyP0y0L58Gpkj6OdmbWskgE9EhsVoiAmysvouko6e_BABDdtCH_bMcnP3WeDLouAvORo__fE1BLOv55IHIcDmmZRLOCoLdZFjrfG_E_ssT_55Yi2TEl6uWYOy9Kddi4LM-Lrr-LrVjOdr/s1600/tara.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="686" data-original-width="867" height="506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEyP0y0L58Gpkj6OdmbWskgE9EhsVoiAmysvouko6e_BABDdtCH_bMcnP3WeDLouAvORo__fE1BLOv55IHIcDmmZRLOCoLdZFjrfG_E_ssT_55Yi2TEl6uWYOy9Kddi4LM-Lrr-LrVjOdr/s640/tara.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">White people working for you</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">You can sponsor an Alt Right vlogger for as little as $500 a month. For this, you get the satisfaction of knowing your vlogger will be able to continue to critique the critiques of other vloggers or deliver bad news porn in a genuinely caring manner. Your vlogger will also give sincere thanks to those who have donated and perhaps even allow you to appear on a show.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Male vloggers will continue to tell you how bad women are, while female vloggers will tell you why women are better off out of the movement. This is not easy and these vloggers sacrifice whole careers in government-sponsored NGOs to tell you what they think you want to hear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">So dig deep, you tight goy fuckers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">*Untreated computer problems can result in videos freezing during play.</span> </span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-9506181369247599362017-12-14T13:11:00.001-08:002017-12-14T13:11:56.443-08:00ALABAMA ELECTION: ROY MOORE LYNCHED BY MOB<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
In the biggest lynching in Alabama's history, Republican candidate and professional John Wayne impersonator Roy Moore's senate seat was stolen by Democrat blacks and cucks. </h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkWMXkbBX9u3KXlLj6S4H-yPNQ8-XK1F-DloAK9owb6UGyAXINU3ReDB4DIY_LQUEPF_9Dzlp7TjpDXIZKLAe1n9zLdIkX72RyCohNL2XVNDBpaZjM-9mSiwVMiA4iImwnZ0Km_FtrnCHq/s1600/moore_0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkWMXkbBX9u3KXlLj6S4H-yPNQ8-XK1F-DloAK9owb6UGyAXINU3ReDB4DIY_LQUEPF_9Dzlp7TjpDXIZKLAe1n9zLdIkX72RyCohNL2XVNDBpaZjM-9mSiwVMiA4iImwnZ0Km_FtrnCHq/s640/moore_0.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Coon Cucks Clan was funded by $50 million of money from unknown sources, but obviously not Russia, so it doesn't matter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Asked about why 95% of blacks voted against Mr Moore, black community leader Reverend D'Shawn Longjohns blaxplained to us that he felt Moore lacked a certain sensitivity with respect to diverse communities that might be ameliorated by participation in cross-cultural seminars.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">He continued, 'Da Moore be rayciss n shieet, an a put cap in hiz ass if he come ina ma hood.' We did not wish to press the good reverend further, as the new 88" curved plasma screen TV was starting to weigh him down.</span></div>
David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492960924255569851.post-82384875491962422512017-12-10T05:01:00.000-08:002017-12-10T05:01:55.126-08:00VICAR: 'ALED JONES RAPED ME AS A BOY'<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
A gay Church of England vicar has bravely come out to reveal that Songs of Praise presenter Aled Jones sexually assaulted him while Jones was still a choirboy in the 1980s, exposing a long history of perversion that began when he was just twelve.</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHomRt-SQa21fzWoI2YGgHuyKqzNsjuNt8Fme8OIzK7UGE2QfeLGVj363AgSLkNGUMdzdQ14FTjh4_jL7xRqJYxWr1CjoKip-GsInjOAsnCT7WNw2jp76HzpyrKF1g9t_mP-Z1owvfxYXO/s1600/walk-28-620x413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="620" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHomRt-SQa21fzWoI2YGgHuyKqzNsjuNt8Fme8OIzK7UGE2QfeLGVj363AgSLkNGUMdzdQ14FTjh4_jL7xRqJYxWr1CjoKip-GsInjOAsnCT7WNw2jp76HzpyrKF1g9t_mP-Z1owvfxYXO/s640/walk-28-620x413.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Church of England vicar, who cannot be named for legal reasons, wept as he described how the twelve-year-old forced himself upon him: 'I was a defenceless middle-aged man and did not have the strength to fight off such a young and fit youth. He soon wrestled me on top of him while singing "Walking in the Air" in his treble voice.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Jones was taken off the BBC for <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5096683/Songs-Praise-star-Aled-Jones-sexual-harassment-claims.html" target="_blank">inappropriate texts sent to a woman over a decade ago</a>, which now appear only just to have arrived. Jones has homophobically denied the vicar's allegations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Jones still also hosts his own programme in which he addresses a whole range of conspiracy theories involving Nazis and clockwork elves. After Jones' voice broke at the age of 16, he was left with a gravelly tone and an inability to control its volume.</span><br />
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David Yorkshirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488196258965878134noreply@blogger.com0