ENOCH FOUND AND THIS YEAR'S WHO DA JOO THROUGH AND THROUGH?

Model moid, but woik is trying up

 

 

Mike Peinovich alias Mike Enoch has been found along with his wife Ames. They were discovered coming out of the Poark East Synagogue together, where they both insisted to our reporter that they had been getting a divorce. Ames Friedman-Peinovich-Shekelberg wore a figure-hugging Mürdoch Chan SS uniform for the occasion, while Mike sported a white Hermann Goering number that complemented his ample frame.

VILE MILLENNIAL WOES PLANS FOR GENOCIDE

Robinson at a refugee shoot yesterday

In another astonishing media fabrication, we can exclusively reveal vile Millennial Woes aka Colin Robinson's plans to exterminate the refugee race. This comes after attending a refugee shoot yesterday in which the vile racist managed 88 kills. This brings his handicap down to 14 under par.

"I could have done more," he boasted vilely, "but I stopped at 88 in memory of the Führer's glorious meeting with the Czech Foreign Minister that began the annexation of Bohemia and Moravia."

 

But we have news for him. One of the refugees he winged died later of complications in hospital, so take that you vile racist!

Vile

 

Vile Millennial Woes changed his real vile name to Colin Robinson when he became a professional racist, naming himself after the golliwog on the jam jars just to be more offensive. He has also reportedly founded the fascist Purple Shirts paramilitary group with which he intends to take over the world.

Asked about his vile plans for the refugee races when he takes over their countries, he said simply, "Showers, gas and ovens."

ENOCH'S WIFE TURNED INTO SOAP

Artist's impression: Have you seen this woman?

 

Police are investigating after the disappearance of Mike Peinovich's wife yesterday. According to one of their neighbours, a buck-toothed, hooked nosed man with peyot and binoculars, she was last seen in Pernovich's luxury kibbutz in Boro Poark in New Yoark, after having taken a shower and was heading towards the oven.

CARRIE FISHER AND KENNY BAKER FOUND ALIVE

A nervous R2D2 yesterday

 

In a sensational scoop, we can reveal that actors Kenny Baker and Carrie Fisher are in fact alive and well and hiding out at a backstreet bar in Benidorm. Both looked fit and well for members of the entertainment industry.