Thursday, 2 April 2020

CORONAVIRUS BROUGHT INTO WEST BY ALT RIGHT

It has how been discovered that the virus known as Coronachan Pornvid-U19 was brought into Europe, Australia and America by members of the Alt Right. Black Pigeon Speaks, The Franklin/Reactionary Expat, Colin Liddell, Davis Aurini and Matt Forney are thot to have been the first confirmed cases of the deadly Coronachan in the Alt Right after contracting it from vaginal bat soup in the Far East.





Saturday, 8 February 2020

GORDON THE GOPHER: "SCHOFIELD MOLESTED ME"

In a not entirely unexpected twist to Phillip Schofield's coming out as a raging maryqueen, former co-host Gordon the Gopher has alleged that he was sexually abused by the presenter over a six-year period.



Sunday, 26 January 2020

LOUISE REDKNAPP FIGHTS PIG

Ex-footballer's shag-bag Louise Redknapp, formerly of the band Eternal, which in fact lasted just a few years, is currently suing Peppa Pig for ripping off her 1996 single "Naked".

 

 

Friday, 10 January 2020

IRANIANS THREW TURDS AT UKRAINIAN PLANE

Canadian Prime Minister Slightly-in-Limp-of-Penis Justin Trudeau shimmered sequins as he revealed new footage today of the moments leading up to the crash in Tehran of a Ukrainian airliner on Wednesday.

Tuesday, 31 December 2019

CIVIL PARTNERSHIP JEWISH FEMINIST COUPLE HAIL VICTORY

In a fitting cohencidence to the first same-sex civil partnership, couple Charles Keidan and Rebecca Steinfeld's successful campaign was hailed by the Times of Israel as a Jewish feminist truimph of the will.

 

 

Monday, 16 December 2019

RACISM BECOMES A VERB

In the latest piece of trans-inspired academia, the noun 'racism' has become a verb. In a courageous tweet about the injustice of the general election result, social justice warrior James Felton made the brave and bold decision to 'out' the closet verb, using a preposition as a verb while doing so.


Sunday, 15 December 2019

JEREMY CORBYN TO JOIN FRENCH STRIKERS

Soon-to-be-ex-leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has ruled out appearing as Fagin in Drury Lane's production of Oliver!, instead opting to join strikers in France in a bid to relaunch his acting career.