Thursday 2 April 2020
Saturday 8 February 2020
GORDON THE GOPHER: "SCHOFIELD MOLESTED ME"
In a not entirely unexpected twist to Phillip Schofield's coming out as a raging maryqueen, former co-host Gordon the Gopher has alleged that he was sexually abused by the presenter over a six-year period.
Sunday 26 January 2020
LOUISE REDKNAPP FIGHTS PIG
Ex-footballer's shag-bag Louise Redknapp, formerly of the band Eternal, which in fact lasted just a few years, is currently suing Peppa Pig for ripping off her 1996 single "Naked".
Friday 10 January 2020
IRANIANS THREW TURDS AT UKRAINIAN PLANE
Canadian Prime Minister Slightly-in-Limp-of-Penis Justin Trudeau shimmered sequins as he revealed new footage today of the moments leading up to the crash in Tehran of a Ukrainian airliner on Wednesday.
Tuesday 31 December 2019
CIVIL PARTNERSHIP JEWISH FEMINIST COUPLE HAIL VICTORY
In a fitting cohencidence to the first same-sex civil partnership, couple Charles Keidan and Rebecca Steinfeld's successful campaign was hailed by the Times of Israel as a Jewish feminist truimph of the will.
Monday 16 December 2019
RACISM BECOMES A VERB
In the latest piece of trans-inspired academia, the noun 'racism' has become a verb. In a courageous tweet about the injustice of the general election result, social justice warrior James Felton made the brave and bold decision to 'out' the closet verb, using a preposition as a verb while doing so.
Sunday 15 December 2019
JEREMY CORBYN TO JOIN FRENCH STRIKERS
Soon-to-be-ex-leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has ruled out appearing as Fagin in Drury Lane's production of Oliver!, instead opting to join strikers in France in a bid to relaunch his acting career.
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