The principal of Parklands Massacre High School in Florida, Rev. K. D. Fiddler, has welcomed the new school ordinance that will see all pupils carry transparent school bags to school, but Rev. Fiddler says this is not enough.
The bags are so that no one can sneak guns into school and make unreasonable demands like stopping the bullying of white kids or raising standards. But for Rev. Fiddler, this is only the beginning.
'A right-wing extremist could easily conceal a gun on their person. It is for this reason that transparent school uniforms are also needed,' he said, salivating.
We asked if this also meant underwear. 'We need to have access to all areas. Who knows what weapons they are concealing there,' he replied, stroking his Jim'll Fix It badge.
It is understood that this proposal has already been approved by prophet and holy saviour David Hogg, whose signed photograph with arm outstretched adorns Rev. Fiddler's desk, next the one with similar pose of Gary Glitter.