Canadian Prime Minister Slightly-in-Limp-of-Penis Justin Trudeau shimmered sequins as he revealed new footage today of the moments leading up to the crash in Tehran of a Ukrainian airliner on Wednesday.
The footage clearly shows two Iranians throwing turds at the aircraft just moments before it crashed. The two suspects are believed to be part of Iran's elite crack unit of faeces flingers and have previously taken down drones with sun-dried excrement packed with half-digested roasted peanuts.
Passing crisis actor David Hogg had just cycled over from Florida in time to witness the event.
"I saw it all," he declared. "We have to stop Iran's nuclear programme and confiscate all Trump's supporters' weapons before more shit is thrown."
President McDonalds J Trump threatened to follow through with retaliatory measures. If the crisis was not resolved soon, he stated that Squat teams would be there to pepper important cultural shites with wholesome American dung. This would of course be banned by the Geneva Convention.
Passing crisis actor David Hogg had just cycled over from Florida in time to witness the event.
"I saw it all," he declared. "We have to stop Iran's nuclear programme and confiscate all Trump's supporters' weapons before more shit is thrown."
President McDonalds J Trump threatened to follow through with retaliatory measures. If the crisis was not resolved soon, he stated that Squat teams would be there to pepper important cultural shites with wholesome American dung. This would of course be banned by the Geneva Convention.
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