Vile vlogger Colin Robinson, brother of equally evil Tommy Robinson, a.k.a. Millennial Whines, has lost an incredible 50lbs in weight after changing his underpants from a pair of grey ones to a pair of red ones.
Whines had been constantly harangued about his weight by his twelve disciples, who complained of 'bingo wings' and 'flapping titties' during sermons.
'I like a bit of breast,' said one, 'but it was getting ridiculous. It was just a total lack of personal grooming. I don't expect him to have a fashy haircut like the rest of us, but looking like a fat Leon Trotsky was arousing suspicion. Then there was the B.O. I was even considering finding another Messiah at one point.'
Thankfully, after peeling off his old underpants with a pair of pliers he had bought with Patreon donations, he was able to put on a fresh pair. Then, a miracle occurred.
'The weight just fell off me,' Whines said. 'I can only assume that it confirms that I am the chosen one.'
The news comes as a welcome recovery after recent disappointing speeches in which he apologised for Britain's part in the saturation bombing of Dresden, the Hundred Years War, the Raj and slavery.
'I like a bit of breast,' said one, 'but it was getting ridiculous. It was just a total lack of personal grooming. I don't expect him to have a fashy haircut like the rest of us, but looking like a fat Leon Trotsky was arousing suspicion. Then there was the B.O. I was even considering finding another Messiah at one point.'
Thankfully, after peeling off his old underpants with a pair of pliers he had bought with Patreon donations, he was able to put on a fresh pair. Then, a miracle occurred.
'The weight just fell off me,' Whines said. 'I can only assume that it confirms that I am the chosen one.'
The news comes as a welcome recovery after recent disappointing speeches in which he apologised for Britain's part in the saturation bombing of Dresden, the Hundred Years War, the Raj and slavery.
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