As the years roll on, aging Nazis like 95-year-old former gas pump attendant Jakiw Palij are becoming a scarce commodity. This has come as a source of concern for Israeli Führer Benjamin Netan Yahoo.
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| Cameras are anti-Semitic |
'We need to keep the Holocaust™ in the public eye, as we know the Palestinians are plotting genocide against us in the present day,' Netan Yahoo said with a gleam in his eye.
This is why he has launched the 'Shop an Elderly Family Member for Israel' campaign. 'We know that most of Europe was part of the Nazi regime between 1940 and 1945. It follows that anyone with a Goyim family member who was in continental Europe at that time is potentially harbouring a Nazi.'
There are great incentives to handing them in, with Israel promising 30 bars of silver for every family member, the money for which will be raised by increasing US taxes.
'The benefits are twofold,' explained Netan Yahoo. 'There is of course the financial reward, but equally there will be the expiation of guilt that comes with carrying out justice that has been avoided. We will take any elderly person on trust. We are an honest people and believe in the honesty of others. It really is a great and final solution to the problem of paying for looking after a senile old Nazi.'
It is good news for the families of Holocaust™ survivahs. 6-year-old Rebekah Goldsteen is a fifth-generation survivah who says, 'I was so relieved when Jakiw Palij (below) was caught. It feels as though all the Zyklon B has finally left my lungs.'
There are great incentives to handing them in, with Israel promising 30 bars of silver for every family member, the money for which will be raised by increasing US taxes.
Justice
'The benefits are twofold,' explained Netan Yahoo. 'There is of course the financial reward, but equally there will be the expiation of guilt that comes with carrying out justice that has been avoided. We will take any elderly person on trust. We are an honest people and believe in the honesty of others. It really is a great and final solution to the problem of paying for looking after a senile old Nazi.'
It is good news for the families of Holocaust™ survivahs. 6-year-old Rebekah Goldsteen is a fifth-generation survivah who says, 'I was so relieved when Jakiw Palij (below) was caught. It feels as though all the Zyklon B has finally left my lungs.'
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| Anti-Semitic image of Palij doctored by a Russian-funded Trump supporter |
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