TONY BLAIR GIVEN BLUE PLAQUE ON HAMPSTEAD HEATH TOILETS

Former Prime Minister and current head of the European Union's task force fighting non-Jew-worshippers has been given a prestigious blue plaque by the English Heritage Trust on the toilets of Hampstead Heath, London.

TONY BLAIR: "I DEFECATE ON YOUR DEMOCRATIC RIGHTS"

Tony Bliar has yet again shat in the faces of the British electorate with a flat-earth-shattering pile of poo that left even the last remaining white voters brown. 

RUSSIANS PISS BLAIR'S BED

Slippery when wet: an angry Tony Blair this morning

Not satisfied with barbecuing babies on sticks in Aleppo and rigging the US elections by flooding America with Russian immigrants, it was revealed that the Russians have also pissed former British PM Tony Blair's bed. Blair, 63, was said to have been left "distraught" and "moist" by the incident last night.